Employee engagement Part 2
Extract from Defrag your business
Change management's biggest challenge is inertia. I’m not telling you anything that isn’t blindingly obvious here. I can’t count the number of times I have wanted to run from a meeting room screaming “why don’t they get it?’ But we always have to remember it is a fair and human position. They haven’t heard or really probably listened to your story yet. Or, more likely we just haven’t told it well enough. We are all guilty of making assumptions, it is just part of the human condition for the majority of us and is heavily weighted by the simple fact that bad news has far more speed and penetration in transmission than good news. And it will come from lots of different directions. One of Steven Wright’s, my favourite comedian, questions is ‘What is the speed of dark?’ I can tell him that its it is twice the speed of light.
The key skill in any face to face communications in my opinion is in employing techniques to challenge, as gently as possible, the assumptions people have made.
This is hugely important in coaching the news deliverers, the steps in the cascade and vital in any internal communication or change mangement process.
Over the years my colleagues and I developed what we call our ‘Ass’ breaking questions. What do I mean?
Well, before we start though bear in mind that:
Some people make assumptions.
Some people speak without thinking.
Some people are full of BS.
Some people are nothing but talk.
Some people use invalidated, vague, baseless arguments to prove their points.
We have to use techniques to challenge them - to identify the hidden assumptions and avoid mindless acceptance.
You do this for two reasons:
1. YOU gain clarity on their motives, intentions and beliefs.
And probably more importantly
2. THEY gain an opportunity to restate, reform and rethink their ideas. In other words you give them an opportnity to find a dignified way out.
Here are seven examples of common situations and dialogues where you can use them, some are painfully obvious:
THEM: “I can’t do that!”
YOU: “Why not?” or “Says who?”
THEM: “I never thought I’d say this, but…”
YOU: “Why did you never think you’d say that?”
THEM: “Well, they say that…”
YOU: “Who’s ‘they’?”
THEM: “So, is this your full time job?”
YOU: “Yes. Why do you ask?”
THEM: “I’ve been calling you all week and I’d really like to get together to talk about a business opportunity!”
YOU: “What is your positive motivation for wanting to meet with me?”
THEM: “I heard/read it was terrible…”
YOU: “Who’d you hear that from?” or “Where’d you read that?”
THEM: “I dunno, this seems pretty expensive?”
YOU: “Compared to what?”
Here are a few others you may want to think about using; Some require a little more skill in presenting as you can imagine.
1. Is that always the case?
2. How do you measure that?
3. How did you arrive at that?
4. So?
5. Why do you believe that?
6. What do you plan to do with this feedback
7. Why?
8. What’s (really) bothering you?
9. What’s your point?
10. When did you decide this?
11. What would happen if you didn’t?
12. What’s your proof?
13. How do you know that’s true?
14. Where’s the evidence?
15. Are you sure that’s true?
16. What stops you??
17. Can you prove it?
18. Why did I receive this email?
19. Why do you think that happened?
20. Why is that so important to you?
21. Why was I put on this list?
All these questions, if the delivery is right:
Catches their attention.
Causes them to stop and think.
Causes them to clarify their remarks.
Causes the REAL motives and beliefs to surface.
Causes you to better understand where they’re coming from.
The delivery is all important. Framing these in anything that remotely suggests an aggressive or condescending manner will have the opposite effect.
The point is that we should always
Challenge irrational thoughts.
Challenge programmed knowledge.
Challenge people's positions.
It helps both parties. Vocalising an argument is the best way any individual can fully come to grips with almost any situation and reach that state of acceptance, the warm fuzzy feeling, which needs to precede their buy in to your idea.
Let me ask you, if you have any other 'Ass breakers' then please post them here. I’m running out of questions with one of my current clients. For them the sky is pink and the sea is made of custard and that is view the CEO and it filters across the whole of the organisation. If he is reading this listening he knows who he is. Sometimes, even with all these little skills and tricks and experience you just have to shake your head and walk into the sunset.
Copyright Rainmaker 2008
No comments:
Post a Comment